i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
