The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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