Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
