He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
