she looked like the bat from fern gully.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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