Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize
