Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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