you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
A+ Viking dick
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
