i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
