is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
