so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
