i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
