Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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