..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
vagina is talking i cant
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
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