so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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