so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
