You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
