paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize