Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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