is your mom at the bar?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
