my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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