I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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