bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
