I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
