He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
time to smoke my breakfast
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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