Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
