margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
