You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
