erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
