somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
