He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize