Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
