Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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