i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
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