I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
