How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I cannot find my penis.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
