she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
