this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
There are leaves in my underwear?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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