Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
