I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
