Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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