flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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