the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
