It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
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