are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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