She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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