theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
If I die, sorry about rent.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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