she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
We're using joints as your birthday candles
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
