The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
She told me I should be a condom model.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
