i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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