Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
