I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
