I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
