Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
