Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
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