Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
