You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
