If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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