Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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