Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
