Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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