come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
she smelled like a LAN party
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
